How Do I Parent in a World Gone Mad?
Navigating AI, Technology, and External Influences
My first substack of 2026 let’s go!
Recently I shared a message during our ‘God is Back’ series at Freedom Church Hereford, if you would like to watch it you can do so below, here are my notes in case you missed it…
Have you ever thought to yourself, how on earth do I parent in a world gone mad?
If you are a parent it’s likely you’ve considered this or other questions like…
Am I doing a good enough job?
What kind of person will my children become?
Or… how do I get the Cheerio out of your nose?
And if you’re not a parent, I still believe there are truths today that will help you, because every one of us is shaping someone, influencing someone or building something. (And if you’re an up-and-coming or growing leader, that’s your world too.)
The Bedrock: Parenting Starts With Foundations
We are going to look at a passage that I believe will serve as a bedrock for parenting:
Matthew 7:24–27
24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. (Not what but who)
26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.
27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
Parenting in a world gone mad begins with the right foundations.
I believe that much of life can be boiled down and pointed back to this.
I believe what this parable teaches us is that whatever happens in this life, the most important thing is what we are stood on.
We live in a world of constant external influence — culture, friends, media, technology.
But if we want our homes to be able to navigate external influences, it starts with our homes.
Why? Because discipleship begins in the home.
If we want to navigate outside, we need healthy homes.
If we want healthy homes, we ourselves need strong foundations.
The Comparison Trap
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but TikTok mums are not a good baseline on how to parent.
We compare their highlight reel with our behind the scenes and think: What am I doing wrong?
If you want a house that is established, that has longevity, that can withstand the test of time, you need to ask yourself:
Is the house of my life being built on the rock?
The truth is our kiddo nuggets are watching.
They don’t just watch what we say.
They learn where we go when life shakes us.
The Starting Point
There is a good God, who is with you and loves your children more than you do.
This should also give us a sense of relief!
This matters because that means that there is a God that is for you.
This is the foundation that we build from…
God entrusted you with your children — they are yours to steward.
Children have been given by God to steward. It is my responsibility not to abdicate.
Am I stewarding what God has placed in my hands?
It’s about responsibility:
Anyone can become a dad, but only few become fathers. Why? Because they take responsibility.
We are given our children on purpose and for a purpose.
So when I parent I need to do so purposefully.
I know it can feel like it but we are not treating our homes as shift manager at your own bed and breakfast.
Parents need to parent:
We can’t leave it to the school to disciple
Or the teachers to disciple
Or even the Church
Discipleship starts in the home.
Children Are a Gift (And Should Be Enjoyed)
Psalm 127:3–5a NLT
Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man
are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.
How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!
One of the greatest robberies is when parents live in constant fear — fear of the world, fear of getting it wrong, fear of not being enough.
Yes, we grow.
Yes, we learn.
But why would God have us feel like imposters of our own children?
Confidence is not perfection, it’s knowing the God who created your children.
I believe that God has called us to be confident parents
because the world needs confident parents that lead confident children.
You (a child’s parents) are the single greatest influence in a child’s life.
All research points to this truth:
Our actions, our values and our beliefs will do more to determine who your child will become than anything else.
Well that feels like pressure…
Sometimes simply leaving the house on time deserves a medal.
But the only time that this crazy culture has more influence than you is when you check out — because if we check out on our responsibility, culture will be more than happy to step in and take over.
Don’t let crazy culture replace you as a parent.
Don’t let us as parents replace the hole that only God can fill.
Yes, it’s laundry, cooking, and money giving ministry…
But we have a greater influence than anything else.
No algorithm can replace you.
IS MY PARENTING BUILT ON THE ROCK?
A.I — The Storm
Matthew 7:25.
Jesus says the rain will fall, the floods will come, and the winds will blow.
Storms are inevitable.
“In this life you will face trials of various kinds”.
Parenting in a world gone mad begins with the right foundations.
Parenting in a world gone mad is about how you navigate the storms.
Technology is one of the storms of our time.
It’s not evil - it’s like fire. You can use it build with or burn with.
Take a look below:
What do these have in common?
Walkie Talkies, Cash, DVDs, Address Books, Scanners, Camcorders, Offices, Translators, Timers, Alarm Clocks, Portable Speakers, Car Keys, Foreign Phrasebooks, Pay Phones, Cameras, Airline Tickets, Rolodexes, Diaries, Calendars, Mail, Yellow Pages, Bank Branches, GPS Devices, VCRs, Travel Guidebooks, Newspapers, Radios, Voice Recorders, Encyclopedias, TV Remotes, Answering Machines, Photo Albums, Takeout Orders by Phone, Playing Cards, Parking Meters, Compact Mirrors, Photocopiers, Flashlights, Rulers, Cookbooks, Money, Calculators, Watches, CDs, TVs, Compasses, Maps, Checks, Magazines.
They were replaced by our phone.
The internet changed the world; smartphones put it in our pockets.
The world we grew up in is very different to the world our children are growing up in.
We have moved from the information and digital age to the AI age.
We said this was coming in a few years but now it’s here.
We are now in a time where tech billionaires have more wealth than nation states.
The rate at which AI is being rolled out globally is unprecedented.
Will it be as big as the internet? Others say bigger than electricity.
What Our Children Are Growing Up In
I’m going to share ways to equip us so we can parent effectively, however first take a few minutes to share the reality of what our children are growing up in.
Disclaimer: stats, research and content — but hope is coming…!
I’m passionate (and I believe you are too) that we set the right foundations for our children, and so we need to understand the world they are living in.
What is AI?
AI — a computer, a huge database and an algorithm that chooses out of that database.
It simulates intelligence; it itself is not intelligent.
The possibilities are impressive:
Medical care: detect disease earlier
Education: personalised learning
Scientific discovery: accelerates breakthroughs
Accessibility: AI translating languages, supporting disabilities
Crisis response: predicts disasters and coordinates faster
This isn’t something that is coming — it is already here.
But the speed in which technology and AI is advancing is faster than the ethics underpinning.
We are pointing back to God’s word!
We need to know what we believe, we need to stand on what has been tested for a millennia, we need to get our foundations straight.
Where else do we get our moral compass from?
Over 1.2 billion people worldwide have used AI tools.
It is estimated that 8 million deep fakes will be created this year
42% of teenagers find love or affection through AI
37% of UK adults say they’ve used an AI chatbot to support their mental health
Two-thirds of children aged 9 to 17 are using chatbots
These aren’t here to scare us but show us the size of the issue.
Emotional dependency
Reinforcing harmful ideas
Social deprivation
Inappropriate content
Limiting development
Privacy and data issues
The AI world has led to greater disconnection, distraction and addiction than ever.
AI can’t feel emotion — it can only fake it.
Can we really put our hopes into something that is only pretending to care about you?
Science and technology, although important, does not deal with the most important questions of a child’s life such as:
What is my purpose?
Who am I, why am I here?
Is there more to life than this?
Those questions can only be pointed back to your foundations…
connected to a true relationship with God.
Created to the Creator.
“We have overprotected our kids in the real world and under protected them online” — Jonathan Haidt
It is far safer for children to walk to the shop than it is to go online for five minutes unrestricted.
Right then, so what do we do with all of this?
There’s hope coming.
It truly is revolutionary — but how do we parent in it?
Protect and Prepare
“Like a city that is broken down and without walls [leaving it unprotected] is a man who has no self-control over his spirit [and sets himself up for trouble].”
Proverbs 25:28 AMP
Protect and prepare.
We prepare them now so that one day they can protect themselves.
Kids need your home to be a shelter (from the storm).
God has equipped us in every season.
God is always present in every storm; he gives us the foundation to thrive!
THRIVE!!
Our role as parents is to prepare our children with the foundations so that they can live out in the real world — but also prepared for the AI/digital world that is out there as well.
How can I protect and prepare?
We create walls for them so that one day they can create healthy walls for themselves.
Parenting in a world gone mad begins with the right foundations.
Parenting in a world gone mad is about how you navigate the storms.
Parenting in a world gone mad requires strong pillars.
We are going to look at 3 key pillars I believe will support our house on the right foundations.
Pillar 1: Presence
Emotionally healthy people often had parents who were present in their lives.
It’s painful, isn’t it?
This is increasingly what a child experiences with their parents.
We’re living in an age where a child is more likely to see the back of their parent’s hand than their face!
Research shows a link between parental inaccessibility and a child’s sense of disappointment.
The first pillar that we need is presence!
Your kids need your time — you’re the person they look up to.
The time you spend matters.
Quality and quantity. They need both.
The answer won’t be found in a quick fix.
When we rely on quick fixes, we will inevitably have to slow down to fix the unraveling later.
Our presence matters.
If children take on our characteristics, then we need to create spaces that reflect the people we want them to become.
Some of the most amazing parents I know are single parents who work extremely hard to provide.
Presence is a big challenge to our selfishness.
Presence requires personal sacrifice.
A child’s love language is spelt P.L.A.Y.
Love languages are about giving what the other wants — not what we want.
Your child would much prefer your presence than the presents your money buys.
(They’ll take your money too, but I’m sure they’d much rather be on an adventure in a clapped out camper van than sitting at home whilst your Mercedes sits at the office.)
Presence is a big deal to God too. God loves us too much that he came present with us in Jesus.
John 3:16 tells us.
God Incarnate:
God took on flesh and came down; he dwelt among us.
He so loved the world that He came. He sent His only Son, the incarnation of the Father Himself, to be with us — God in the flesh, present in our lives, spending time with us in order to impart his nature to us.
Incarnation brought connection.
To a significant degree, that’s our calling as parents. We intentionally enter into our children’s lives and be present. Accessible, available, engaged parents.
So how is that plausible?
Commit to Play
Dr Amen: 20 minutes a day.
I bought them a toy, they played with the box — look, I get it.
I just stepped on Lego and questioned my life choices.
Commit to Pray
The greatest gift you can give your child is prayer.
Pray for them. Pray with them. But also show them how to discern.
Equip our children with their foundations,
that they too can distinguish between right and wrong,
that they can have foundations of a relationship with God.
Pillar 2: Posture
The first way to navigate the waters of external influences begins with your own parenting posture:
John 13:35
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
Here’s 4:
1) Authoritarian Parenting
Rules, regulations and no relationship.
They can be over strong or harsh.
Unable to relate to a child.
The children fear the parent.
High on demand, low on love.
Lack of love/belief.
2) Permissive Parenting
No rules, no regulation but there is relationship.
Indulgent.
Anything that the child wants they get.
I will clean up my child’s mistakes.
Anywhere the child wants to go, anything the child wants to do.
We avoid our child becoming upset and so give them things to make them stop.
You can have this.
Tantrums become coping mechanisms.
Permissive parents were often parented by an authoritarian parent.
No, you might think that this is great because surely we’re loving our children? However what the child doesn’t realise is that often the parent isn’t doing that to simply love them — they are doing it because they are trying to give what they did not receive when they were a child.
3) Uninvolved Parenting
No rules, no regulation, no relationship.
It demands no response.
Typically they are detached from the child; typically they are overwhelmed in their own life.
There is no structure and no supervision.
Not particularly interested in what they’re doing at school.
Nobody checks how you’re doing.
The parent is there, but they’re not involved.
4) FOCUS ON: Righteous Parenting
There is relationship, rules and regulation.
The first principle is relationship, not rules.
Establish connection before you lay down correction.
They are loving and firm.
“grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.”
John 1:17 NIV
First pass on relationship before you pass on rules.
These guys actually have more fun along the way!
Because when the rules are put in place, the child will see those through the lens of love because of what has been established.
Pillar 3: Parameters
It’s like bowling — putting the guard rails up first.
You put boundaries so that they can succeed, so that they can hit the target, so that they can regulate themselves.
Discipline, boundaries and parameters.
Kids are desperate for us to love them.
God disciplines those that he loves.
Proverbs 13:24 — He who loves his child is careful to discipline him.
When we loosen the boundaries and a child is left to their own devices, it doesn’t build healthy character — that’s not love.
Foundational digital boundaries
Set content and screen time
Set parental restrictions
Set the timeline
Set device spaces
Set ourselves straight (it comes down to what we model!)
We can create a fascination with our devices.
If our home is the model, then when we as parents spend every time in their presence on our phone, we are setting the precedent that phones are more important than people — because that’s what we’ve modelled.
Discipleship Begins at Home
“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. (Teach them diligently) Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”
Deuteronomy 6:5–7 NLT
And that is discipleship.
How do I know that?
In order to parent, we need to be parented.
I’m a better parent when I’m closer to God.
I’m more joyful, more gentle, more love, more peace.
I can prove this to you from Galatians 5:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Galatians 5:22–23 NIV
We are kinder, gentler…
What Is Your House Built On?
What is your house built on?
If you have God you have Hope, but you can also give it!
I believe the greatest gift you can give your kids is faith — a spiritual legacy.
I can plaster over cracks with good parenting tips and they help, but they can’t hold a house together alone.
Because you cannot give your children a foundation you don’t stand on yourself.
When God becomes your foundation:
You’re no longer measured by your performance
Your security is found in something deeper than your success
Your identity is based as a child, not your role as a parent
The wind and storms will come, but Jesus says the only way you can withstand is when you are founded on the rock!
Wisdom to digest
Parenting in a world gone mad begins with the right foundations.
You can’t stop the rain, floods, and wind — but you can choose what your house is built on.
You can’t outsource discipleship, and you can’t afford to check out — because culture is always ready to step in when you do.
So protect and prepare. Be present. Check your posture. Set parameters.
And remember: no algorithm can replace you.
Reflective question:
Where, practically, are you most tempted to “check out” right now — and what would it look like this week to rebuild that part of your parenting on the Rock?