We Don’t Send Church Planters, We Send Spiritual Sons

Let’s go niche for a second, this mainly applies to church planters and pastors.

However I’m sure that all of us agree that church ministers that are long lasting and can stand the test of time is something that we all want to see. And like anything, for something to be built that is stormproof we must begin to look beneath the surface…

Let’s follow a journey of someone’s sending journey for a second:

The call to ‘GO’ comes. Sending power comes, there’s apostolic excitement for the future. As the individual or couple begins to prepare and pack their bags,they take the ambitious faith fuelled step in leaving their belongings, situation or geography behind (whatever the case may be.) As they land they strike full momentum, like anything the beginning is often the easiest to gain traction and there’s incredible kingdom opportunities and impact all around. However, overtime that energy dwindles, the leader gets tired, messages get misinterpreted, isolation kicks in, questions and doubts begin to mount and what was previously full steam ahead and the finger starts to point back in the direction of the Sender.

Now, what was previously upbeat and vision fuelled, frustration starts to kick in and voids remain vacant. As disappointment grows the heart hurts all the more. And the degree to which the relational equity with the sender was built will now determine the degree to which the person is able to proceed.

This may not be your story and I don’t want this to sound cliche but we would do well to put this very common wound under the microscope and consider where did the relational fracture begin? In fact maybe it was there long before, perhaps it was inflicted through someone completely different but the nature of the territory has meant that all facets of the heart are being magnified- and we need to strike quick. Because if we don't, so much is at stake.

I feel as though caveats are important when writing so here’s mine: The issue doesn’t always lie with the person being sent. This isn’t stockholm syndrome, and there are plenty of instances where imperfect and impatient sending leaders ‘simply don’t understand’ and if we’re honest probably could have ‘done better’.

But this isn’t who this is about, this about the ‘sendee’ and the critical nuanced bond between the leader and the follower, the Rabbi and the disciple, the Father and the Son.

Put it this way- if you had a parental issue in the past that has not yet healed, talked about or undealt with can I suggest that you’ll likely struggle on the field. Why? Because God works through relationships. Our Salvation includes ‘adoption as Sons’ just as we have been adopted into Christ, we too have been adopted into His family, the Church.

This is why the statement:

“Don’t send church planters, send spiritual sons,”- Pastor Oscar Muriu of Nairobi Chapel in Kenya, rings so true.

A Sending Movement, is First a Sending Family

Over the course of my Christian life, Church Planting has become a trending topic. Conversations of where’s next? Who’s next? How many Churches do you have? Can become like mullet- was once cool, faded and has now come back in again. Largely I’m here for it and that’s what I’m passionate about, eat the grapes and spit out the pips you know?

However the issue with the fad is that we can become more driven by service format than spiritual formation. We’ve created countless frameworks within church to ‘get-the-job-done’, Strategic phases, giving targets, outreach strategies and they all have their place. But it is imperative that we do not forget the oil that enables the movement to move- Sonship.

Why Sons?

The Apostle Paul said to Timothy and Titus, “My true son in the faith.” Not assistant. Not intern. Not church planter. Son.

Paul wasn’t just building churches he was building people who could carry what he carried.

Systems don’t suffer when storms come. But sons can survive storms because they were sent, not just released. They weren’t commissioned to complete a job they were entrusted with a calling.

You see Sons have been loved and nurtured by the Father, and because of that good deposit, it’s not easily forgotten. That's the substance. That’s the deep stuff. A fire extinguisher would struggle to put it out and it can’t really be found at the end of a QR code.

When you’re adopted, that essence can begin to permeate through everything that you are and do.

In church planting and Kingdom leadership, sons go the distance.
They don’t clock in and clock out they lay their lives down.
There’s loyalty there. They don’t simply just replicate strategy they replicate spirit.

“Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel.” - 1 Corinthians 4:15

What if our next step as leaders was to consider the degree to which we desire long lasting, long game growth is found in the Spiritual Sons that we build?

We create sons not because we want anything from them. It’s not what I need, it’s about what they need. And the way that we nurture the gold, the healing, the belief in them, will mean that our sending power and the people in that flow can go the distance.

How Do We Raise Sons?

There’s no perfect formula, but there’s some principles we can lean into all starting with intentional investment…

First, we train the head by teaching wisdom, theology, vision, and leadership. Then we train the hands, helping others grow in practical skills like preaching, leading teams, and planning well. But most importantly, we train the heart. This is where discipleship moves beyond instruction into relationship. It’s where people feel known, loved, corrected, and trusted. That kind of connection builds deep, lasting trust.

Some things can’t be ‘taught’, they have to be ‘caught’ through real-life relationship. And that’s what separates a hireling from a true son. Storms will come, misunderstandings, offence, gossip too but when you've invested time and care, you’ve built the kind of relational equity that can weather anything.

What Sons Know

• They know who they are.
  

• They know who sent them.
  

• They carry not just a model but a mantle.
  

• They’re not carrying an instruction they’re carrying an inheritance.
  
  

Leadership That Imparts

As leaders, our job is not to mass-produce church planters it’s to multiply ourselves in people who bear our spirit and carry the flame. That doesn’t happen through PowerPoints. It’s not the kind of fast track we can create through ChatGPT. It’s what happens around tables, on car rides, in the trenches, through tears and time and truth. Spiritual children replicate their influences because of what has been intentionally sown, watered and nurtured. If you like they reflect the DNA that was placed within them; just as an acorn reflects its descendent Oak tree.

Wisdom to Digest:

Great leaders don’t just build systems, they raise sons. If you want your ministry to outlast your meetings, or more importantly stand the test of time when a plant is still in its infancy, then it must be rooted in relationship. The ones who carry your DNA will always carry your mission.

Quick Question:
Are you building programs, or are you raising people? Who are you investing in, not just to serve but to send?